The Catalog of New Emotions: Pardonwank

The Inauguration Mass For Pardonwanker Pope Francis

Pardonwank (pronounced:  /ˈpɑr dnwæŋk/) noun/verb — to forgive someone for a fault or transgression that you ascribed to them in the first place in order to make yourself feel superior and powerful;  the feeling of smug self-righteousness that accompanies such an act

Usage:             Looking around the restaurant at the people eating meat, Marie felt sorrow for the dead animals but pardonwanked her fellow humans, thinking: “They know not what they do.”

The media continually failed to point out that Pope Francis is the biggest pardonwanker in the world.

Etymology:  A combination of the verbs to pardon and to wank, pardonwank emphasizes that emotions are interactions with the world and highlights that forgiveness always implies a position of self-assumed moral superiority, an attempt to have your slice of judgmental cake and eat it too.

The Catalog of New Emotions is a project to refine our emotional sensibilities through the creation of new emotions and the development of a vocabulary to express these new emotions. If you would like to contribute to this project leave a comment. Your definition of the new emotion should include pronunciation; examples of usage; etymology of the word and why this new emotion is necessary.

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To see all the entries in  The Catalog of New Emotions, click here.

For an antidote to the temptation to pardonwank, listen to:

And recall Patti Smith: “Jesus died for somebody’s sins but not mine.”

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The Catalog of New Emotions: Beastophilia

human male

Beastophilia (pronounced: /ˌbistəˈfɪliə/) noun — an affective disorder in which the attraction to and concern for non-human creatures becomes more powerful than that felt for humans.

Usage:             A sure sign of beastophilia is supporting PETA.

His beastophilia regularly got the better of him and he would spend whole days accompanied only by his dog.

Etymology:  People who have very little exposure to animals in their natural or productive environments, i.e. the wild and farms, are particularly prone to beastophilia, their feelings about animals having been shaped by television, films, cat videos on the Internet, and their interactions with their dependent bio-slaves, i.e. pets.

The Catalog of New Emotions is a project to refine our emotional sensibilities through the creation of new emotions and the development of a vocabulary to express these new emotions. If you would like to contribute to this project leave a comment. Your definition of the new emotion should include pronunciation; examples of usage; etymology of the word and why this new emotion is necessary.

To see all the entries in  The Catalog of New Emotions, click here.