The Last Garbage Day (Before Xmas)

It is the last garbage day
Before Christmas,
The alleyways are littered
With trash pickers,
People with layer upon layer
Of dirty clothes,
Combing the cans and the bins
For bottles, tins;
But today’s pickings are spare,
They’re aware and
Wait for the days we will share
From our orgies
Of excess—Merry Christmas!

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The Catalog of New Emotions: The awareness of an Austrian lesbian

Daniela-Iraschko-Stolz by Matthias Schrader for AP

The awareness of an Austrian lesbian/ idiom — describes a sense of smugness born of privilege and willful ignorance, variations include “the social consciousness of an Austrian ski-jumper” or simply “Austrian lesbian” or “Austrian ski-jumper.” The phrase is very closely linked to another:  “as dense as a gay American figure skater.”

An idiom with an opposite meaning is: “She’s smart enough to play in the gay NBA.” This expression reflects the comments made by gay ex-NBA John Amaechi: “For me, silence in the face of attendance in Sochi is complicity,” says Amaechi, who played for Orlando Magic and Utah Jazz during his basketball career. “You become nothing more than another Sochi mascot that people can have their photograph taken with as a memento of the abdication of responsibility. I don’t think it’s a predicament. I do understand that there is risk. But principles are usually associated with risk.”

Usage:   I don’t think he’s read a newspaper in a decade; he’s such an Austrian lesbian.

If she were anymore self-involved, she’d be a gay American figure skater.

He’s as spoiled as an Austrian ski-jumper.

Etymology: The idiom arises from the comments made by Daniela Iraschko-Stolz, an out lesbian athlete at the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics, when she dismissed protests against the abuse of human rights in Russia, thereby displaying truly Olympian levels of ignorance and self-involvement.

Note that Olympic Athletes are providing endless examples of the usefulness of this phrase. Take for example the Canadian athletes who fawned over Putin when he dropped by Canada House. They should not even have let him through the door, let alone have snapped selfies with him: “The Canadian athletes behaved no better than an Austrian ski-jumper as they fell all over themselves to snap selfies with the ruthless dictator, Vladimir Putin.”

The Catalog of New Emotions is a project to refine our emotional sensibilities through the creation of new emotions and the development of a vocabulary to express these new emotions. If you would like to contribute to this project leave a comment the definition of the new emotion, including pronunciation; examples of usage; etymology of the word and why this new emotion is necessary.

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To see all the entries in  The Catalog of New Emotions, click here.

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The Catalog of New Emotions: Beastophilia

human male

Beastophilia (pronounced: /ˌbistəˈfɪliə/) noun — an affective disorder in which the attraction to and concern for non-human creatures becomes more powerful than that felt for humans.

Usage:             A sure sign of beastophilia is supporting PETA.

His beastophilia regularly got the better of him and he would spend whole days accompanied only by his dog.

Etymology:  People who have very little exposure to animals in their natural or productive environments, i.e. the wild and farms, are particularly prone to beastophilia, their feelings about animals having been shaped by television, films, cat videos on the Internet, and their interactions with their dependent bio-slaves, i.e. pets.

The Catalog of New Emotions is a project to refine our emotional sensibilities through the creation of new emotions and the development of a vocabulary to express these new emotions. If you would like to contribute to this project leave a comment. Your definition of the new emotion should include pronunciation; examples of usage; etymology of the word and why this new emotion is necessary.

To see all the entries in  The Catalog of New Emotions, click here.

The Catalog of New Emotions: Jobbed-up

jolly-roger-apple-web

Jobbed-up (pronounced: /ˈdʒɒbd ʌp/ ) adjective — describes being in a state of anxious desire for something you don’t really need, convinced it is scarce when it really is not.

To job someone up verb – to induce in someone a state of anxious desire for something unnecessary by convincing them it is scarce when it really is not.

Usage:             I was so jobbed-up I maxed out my credit card.

The media hacks jobbed everyone up over the release of the latest iPhone.

Etymology: The word originates from the name of deceased flimflam man Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple computers and the master of instilling disproportionate desire for overpriced gadgets into the general population. Identification of this emotion is the first step to controlling it.

The Catalog of New Emotions is a project to refine our emotional sensibilities through the creation of new emotions and the development of a vocabulary to express these new emotions. If you would like to contribute to this project leave a comment. Your definition of the new emotion should include pronunciation; examples of usage; etymology of the word and why this new emotion is necessary.

To see all the entries in  The Catalog of New Emotions, click here.

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